Photos by: Mark Davidson

You’re meeting with your wedding DJ for the first time, and it’s going great. He knows how much you love Pink Floyd, so he found a cool instrumental version of “Pigs on the Wing.” One of your bridesmaids is a songwriter, and wrote an original love song about the two of you that you want her to play at the reception. The DJ can hook up her guitar to his system for a live performance, and she’s sent over a full studio version of the song that you can dance to later in the evening. You give him a list of all your favorite songs, tell him requests are allowed as long as they’re clean, and choose song group dance songs that aren’t too corny. But then, you get a call. It’s your mom, and she’s begging you to walk down the aisle to a song by an 80s hair band that you just can’t stand. You want to say no, but you also know she’s been dreaming of this moment and that it would make her very happy. But shouldn’t it be about what you want? 

Planning the music for your wedding can be tricky, especially if your parents have certain expectations. Odds are good that you and your parents don’t have the same taste in music. But there is a way for both you and your parents to be satisfied with the song selections for the evening. First, decide what musical decisions belong only to you and your partner. No matter how much pressure your mom puts on you to walk down the aisle to Bon Jovi, you won’t be doing it. This is your wedding, and it should ultimately be about what you want. But maybe you can compromise with her. Offer to use that song for the mother-daughter dance. 

The reception is usually the most musical moment of the wedding ceremony. After a picture-perfect ceremony and a wonderful meal, it’s time to cut loose and fill the dance floor. Perhaps you’ve told your DJ no requests, but your uncle keeps insisting on hearing the Electric Slide, which you know your new husband just hates. It’s a good idea to tell your DJ to hold off on requests until the last hour, when most people have already gone home. You may still be compromising, but at least now most people won’t bear witness. 

Satisfying your parent’s strange but well-meaning requests can be tricky waters to navigate. The thing to remember is, you’re not being selfish by saying no. After all, these are your everlasting memories that you’re building. When you dream of saying “I do” and dancing the night away with your soulmate, the soundtrack is yours to pick and no one else’s. So tell your parents to lose their old style and jam with your generation for a night.