Take a few moments to think about all of the weddings you’ve been to and wedding speeches you’ve heard. What did you notice, and what do all the very best wedding speeches have in common?! I bet your answer falls somewhere along the lines of “It had the right flow, the right feeling and it didn’t go on too long!” 

With that in mind, we recommend that you factor in some of the below guidelines to help you find your very own short but sweet wedding speech flow!

Open With a Statement or Possibly a Question

Don’t open with a (tired) joke or a reference to how nervous you are!  After all, the goal is to engage your audience, not make it about you, or your bad jokes. It can be as simple as “Hello and welcome everyone. I hope you’re all having a great night so far, and we’re just getting started!”

Address Your Audience

Focusing on yourself will only enhance the wedding speech nerves. Instead, we recommend that you concentrate on your audience and how you would like to make them feel with your words. This will help you to really speak from the heart, and will let everyone know that you value being chosen to be part of such a special moment.

Focus on a Few Important Points

We recommend that you select between one to three unique aspects of the newlyweds that you love and appreciate, along with very simple, short stories where the bride and groom are the heroes. This will help illustrate just how much you love and care about the bride and groom, and is an excellent way to keep your message both clear and focused. This is definitely not a time for risque inside jokes or “You had to be there” stories. The speech shouldn’t feel like a club the audience isn’t invited to.

Rehearse, But Just a Little

The more prepared you are, the more confident you are going to feel behind the podium and in turn, the better your speech will be. A good amount of prep is to practice your speech enough times that you can remember the most important points you want to make and the general  order in which you plan to make them. This will help to relax you into the present moment and free you up to make eye contact with some of the guests, instead of staring at your note cards the whole time. But, you don’t want to practice so much that you are just reciting from memory, word for word. You want it to feel sincere, and heartfelt, not canned!

Minimize Cocktails Pre-Speech

Although it may be tempting to indulge in a bit of liquid courage, alcohol isn’t likely to do you any favors. But, if you really feel like you need a drink to loosen up the nerves or don’t want to feel left out during other toasts, stick to one or two small glasses of Champagne or one or two cocktails before you address the crowd. Don’t let all that pre-wedding prep go to waste by slurring your speech, forgetting your most important points, or embarrassing the newlyweds.

Be Authentic

Please keep in mind that you’re not putting on a show! Remember this isn’t about you! After all this isn’t ‘open mic night’ or your ‘stand-up comedy class”, you’re only there to share your personal perspective on the newlyweds and offer well wishes for their new lives together. And, trying too hard to force the funny can have the exact opposite effect! To that end, we’ve noticed that keeping it short, sweet, heartfelt, authentic and staying focused on the newlyweds generates some of the most wonderful wedding speech moments. 

Don’t Embarrass the Guests of Honor

Please remember, you’re delivering a wedding speech, not a roast! So, while this should go without saying, please ensure that you keep the bachelor or bachelorette party jokes out of your speech. Remember that Grandmas & Grandpas and possibly some of your friends’ colleagues are in the audience!  It can be okay, to look back at childhood and refer to something funny, but leave the keg party zingers out of your speech! Before you commit to any historical anecdotes, ask yourself… If the shoe was on the other foot, would you feel comfortable with 100-plus of your closest friends and family knowing that story about you?